After my second divorce, I remember feeling like I’d been branded with a label—"failure".

It’s a label that carried so much weight, not just in my own mind but in how I thought the world saw me. Have you ever felt that way? As if, after the end of a relationship, you’re reduced to a word or a phrase—like "divorced," "single mom," or worse, "not good enough"?

It’s so easy to let these labels define us, to internalize them until we believe they tell our entire story. But the truth is, they don’t. You are so much more than the labels you’ve been given. Divorce is just a chapter, not your whole story. Letting go of those labels can be the first, liberating step toward rediscovering who you really are.

My Story: From Failure to Freedom

I’ll never forget how heavy that label felt. “Twice divorced by 33? You must be the problem,” I thought. The label “failure” was with me everywhere—at work, when I looked at my child, even when I was alone. It became part of how I saw myself, until I realized that no one else had the power to label me but me.

The day I decided to rewrite my story was the day I began to heal. Letting go of that label didn’t happen overnight, but each small step forward was a victory. Each step helped me remember that I was so much more than a failed marriage. I had dreams, desires, and strengths that went beyond any label.

Has a label ever made you feel like you were less than who you are?

You’re not alone in that feeling. So many women, after divorce, carry the weight of labels that aren’t even true. But those labels are not you. And they never have been.

How to Let Go of Labels: Rewriting Your Story

Letting go of a label can feel daunting because it’s become so ingrained in how we see ourselves. But letting go doesn’t mean ignoring the past. It means consciously choosing to rewrite how we see our future.

• Step 1: Awareness: Acknowledge the labels that you’ve been carrying. Write them down. This process can be painful, but it’s necessary to bring those hidden beliefs into the light. The first time I wrote “failure” on the page, I realized just how much power I’d been giving to it. Awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your power.

• Step 2: Reframe Your Story: Once you see those labels clearly, ask yourself if they are truly part of your story or if they’ve been imposed by others. Do they reflect your true essence? If not, it’s time to rewrite them. Instead of "failure," I started telling myself, "I’ve faced challenges and grown stronger through them." This small shift in language began to transform how I saw myself.

• Step 3: Embrace Your True Self: What are the passions, values, and dreams that make you who you truly are? Reconnect with those parts of yourself that have nothing to do with your relationship status. Try something you’ve always wanted to do. Reignite old passions. Slowly, you’ll begin to see that you are so much more than the label you’ve been holding onto.

The Freedom of Releasing Labels

Letting go of labels doesn’t happen overnight, but each time you take a step, you’ll feel lighter. You’ll start to see yourself as the woman you’ve always been—whole, worthy, and full of potential. When I let go of the label “failure,” I opened up space for growth, joy, and confidence.

The same is possible for you. When we let go of labels, we give ourselves permission to write our own story, free from the judgments of others or the expectations of the past.

This journey of letting go is ongoing, but it’s also beautiful. Every step you take is a step toward freedom, toward rediscovering the person you were always meant to be. The labels don’t define you.

Divorce doesn’t define you. You are the author of your story, and this chapter could be the one where you reclaim your power and create the life you truly want.

If this message resonates with you, and you’re ready to let go of the labels that have been holding you back, I invite you to join my newsletter. It’s a space where I share insights, stories, and tools to help you on your journey to rediscovering your worth and stepping into the life you deserve.