Life is full of moments that test our patience and challenge our emotions—whether it’s a comment from a co-parent, a text from an ex, or a frustrating situation at work. The way we handle these moments can either bring us peace or create unnecessary conflict.

For years, I lived in reaction mode. I let my emotions lead, often responding to situations with frustration, anger, or hurt. It wasn’t until I began my personal growth journey that I discovered the power of responding instead of reacting. This simple shift changed my life, and I want to share it with you so you can experience the same transformation.

Reacting vs. Responding: What’s the Difference?

Reacting happens in the heat of the moment. It’s impulsive and driven by emotion—anger, frustration, or fear. For example, think about firing off an angry text to your ex or raising your voice in an argument. These reactions often come from a place of ego or insecurity and can escalate conflict rather than resolve it.

Responding, on the other hand, is intentional. It’s about taking a pause, processing the situation, and addressing it thoughtfully. When you respond, you’re in control—not your emotions.

Here’s an example: Imagine receiving a text from your ex that feels dismissive or rude. Reacting might look like replying immediately in anger, while responding might mean stepping away, reflecting on the best course of action, and addressing the situation calmly.

The outcome? Responding fosters understanding and diffuses tension, while reacting often has the opposite effect.

Why Do We React?

Many of us react because it feels instinctive. It’s tied to unresolved emotions or beliefs about ourselves. For me, it often stemmed from ego and the need for validation.

I’ll never forget the countless times I let a text from my ex derail my entire day. Whether it was something about co-parenting or a passing comment, I’d feel defensive and hurt, firing off a reply in frustration. And when I worked in corporate, I’d pour so much effort into projects, only to feel crushed when my manager didn’t acknowledge the hard work. I’d react emotionally, carrying resentment that impacted my mood and relationships.

Looking back, I realize those reactions were tied to deeper insecurities—wanting to be seen, valued, and heard.

The Turning Point: Learning to Respond

Everything changed when I discovered the power of responding. For years, I thought reacting was the only way to stand up for myself. But I learned that true strength comes from choosing how to respond with intention, not from letting emotions take the wheel.

One of the most transformative practices I’ve embraced is the 3-Day Rule: If something triggers you, wait three days before addressing it. This gives emotions time to settle and allows clarity to guide your response.

How to Start Responding Instead of Reacting

If you’re ready to move from reacting to responding, here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Pause and Breathe
   In moments of frustration, pause before you act. Take a few deep breaths to calm your mind and body. This simple practice can prevent impulsive reactions and create space for thoughtful responses.

2. Use the 3-Day Rule
   If a situation isn’t urgent, give yourself three days before addressing it. This practice allows emotions to settle and often changes how you view the situation.

3. Journal Your Thoughts
   Writing down your feelings can help you process emotions and gain clarity. Before replying to a text or confronting a situation, journal about what’s bothering you and what you hope to achieve.

4. Ask Yourself These Questions

   • Is this worth my energy?
   • What outcome do I want from this situation?
   • Am I reacting out of anger, frustration, or ego?

5. Practice Self-Care
   Stress and overwhelm can make us more reactive. Prioritizing self-care—like journaling, meditation, or time in nature—helps you stay grounded and respond with intention.

What About Your Ex?

Whether you’re navigating co-parenting or occasional interactions with an ex, these moments can often feel like landmines of potential conflict. It’s easy to fall into old habits of defensiveness, but responding rather than reacting can shift the dynamic.

Instead of reacting to a dismissive comment or frustrating email, take a moment to ask yourself:

• What outcome am I hoping for here?
• Is this something I need to address, or can I let it go?
• Am I prioritizing my peace over my pride?

By choosing to respond thoughtfully, you create boundaries that protect your energy and foster healthier communication, even with difficult ex-partners.

Self-Care Practices to Support Your Journey

If you’re ready to start responding with intention, self-care is a powerful foundation. My Self-Care Practices ebook is designed to help you create calm and balance in your life. It’s filled with practical exercises that support emotional well-being and help you approach challenges with clarity and confidence.

You can download it for free by clicking here.

Why This Matters

When we choose to respond instead of react, we take back our power. We become intentional about how we show up in the world, creating more peace in our relationships and within ourselves.

Whether you’re navigating co-parenting, communicating with an ex, or simply managing daily frustrations, learning to respond rather than react can change everything. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up in a way that honors your growth, your boundaries, and your peace.

Let’s create more peace and intention in our lives—one response at a time. 💖