Will You Still Be Saying “I Wish I Had” Ten Years From Now?

Maybe yours isn't skincare. Perhaps you look at your body now and think, I wish I'd exercised more when I was younger. Maybe you wish you'd taken better care of your health or started saving money earlier. Perhaps you wish you'd travelled more, worn the clothes, taken the photographs, left something sooner or started something earlier.

Maybe you wish you'd spent more time with someone while they were still here. Or perhaps there are things you wish you'd done simply for yourself, before life became so full of everybody else's needs.

It's such a small sentence. I wish I had. But goodness, we can carry a lot inside those four words.

And sometimes the thought is perfectly understandable. With what we know today, of course there are things we might have done differently.

But what happens after we say it?

That's the part I've been thinking about.

Imagine you're 55 and thinking, I wish I'd started looking after my body when I was 40. Then imagine yourself at 70 looking back at the woman you are today and thinking exactly the same thing.

I wish I'd started at 55.

That's quite a thought, isn't it?

Because while we're looking backwards wishing we'd started earlier, today is becoming another one of those days we may eventually look back on.

Maybe you've been telling yourself you're too old to start exercising, too old to learn something new, too old to change your style, too old to take better care of your skin, too old to start again financially or too old to travel somewhere you've always wanted to go.

But what does too old actually mean when you're still here?

You might have another five years. You might have another thirty or forty. None of us knows. But you have today. And perhaps that matters more than the years you wish you'd done differently.

There's something else I think we sometimes forget when we look backwards. We judge the woman we were then with everything the woman we are now knows.

Perhaps you genuinely couldn't afford the things you wish you'd done. Maybe you were raising children, caring for somebody, surviving a relationship, grieving, building a career, starting again or simply trying to pay the bills. Perhaps you were exhausted and doing the best you could with what you had at the time.

Would you speak to another woman going through those circumstances and say, Well, you really should have been doing more?

Probably not.

So why is it sometimes so easy to say it to ourselves?

Maybe looking back doesn't always need to become judgement. Perhaps sometimes it can simply become information.

I wish I'd taken better care of myself.

Okay.

What does knowing that make me want to do now?

That's a very different conversation.

Perhaps there's something you've been thinking about for months. Maybe even years. Nothing enormous.

You keep saying you'd like to start walking again. You'd love to learn how to do your makeup differently. You keep meaning to sort through your wardrobe. You've thought about taking up painting again. Perhaps there's somewhere you'd like to visit, a class you'd like to try, or a friend you keep saying you must arrange lunch with.

But life carries on, and one day stays somewhere in the future.

What if you didn't need to completely change your life? What if you simply did one small thing?

Ten minutes outside. Making the appointment. Buying the moisturiser and actually using it.

Taking the vitamins you've already bought out of the cupboard. Putting on the dress you've been saving. Calling the friend. Looking up the class. Making the first transfer into the savings account, even if it isn't very much.

Because perhaps beginning doesn't have to look impressive. It just has to happen.

I think this matters too, because once we decide to change something, it's very easy to go to the other extreme.

Right. That's it. From Monday I'm exercising five days a week, drinking two litres of water, doing my skincare morning and night, sorting my entire wardrobe, eating perfectly and meditating before breakfast.

And by Wednesday we're exhausted. 😂

Perhaps we don't have to punish ourselves for the years we think we wasted. You don't have to exercise twice as hard because you didn't do it ten years ago. You don't have to suddenly become someone completely different because you've realised there is something you'd like to change.

Maybe you simply start where you are, with the body you have today, the skin you have today, the finances you have today, the confidence you have today and the life you actually have today.

Not the one you wish you'd had. Not the one you think you should have created by now.

This one.

I know we often talk about looking back and wishing we'd done things differently, but perhaps there's another way to look at it.

Imagine yourself ten years from now. What might she be grateful you started today?

Maybe she'll be grateful you began walking. Perhaps she'll be grateful you finally started taking care of your skin again. Maybe she'll be grateful you stopped saving your lovely things for special occasions and actually enjoyed them.

Perhaps she'll be grateful you learned something new even though you felt like a complete beginner. Maybe she'll simply be grateful that somewhere along the way you stopped treating your age as a reason to give up on yourself.

Because getting older doesn't mean the story is finished. There are still things to learn, things to experience, things to enjoy and things to change. And perhaps even parts of yourself you haven't discovered yet.

Perhaps today, instead of asking yourself what you wish you'd done differently, ask yourself something else:

What am I glad I've realised while I still have the opportunity to do something about it?

Is there something you've been regretting that could become a decision instead?

I wish I'd looked after myself better. I can start looking after myself now.

I wish I'd exercised more. I can move my body today.

I wish I'd learned that years ago. I can learn it now.

I wish I'd made more time for myself. I can make a little time for myself today.

You can't go back and change what happened before this moment. And perhaps you don't need to. Because the woman who made those choices, or didn't make them, was living a life you now have the benefit of looking back on.

She got you here.

And here you are. Still learning, still discovering, still allowed to change your mind, still allowed to take care of yourself and still allowed to begin.

So perhaps the next time you hear yourself saying, “I wish I had...” don't let the sentence end there. Add something to it.

“I wish I had... but I'm here now.”

And then ask yourself:

What can I do with now? ♡